I feel ugly : How to say “no” to ugly days.

Some days I wake up thinking:
I feel ugly.

Some days I wake up thinking:
I am fat.

Some days I wake up thinking:
I am ugly.

I know that feeling. I have it a lot. A lot. And it’s hard to get through those days. Those are the days where I feel like clawing my face off, smash all the mirrors and do bodily harm to myself to get rid of said ‘fat’. I am insecure and I have no self confidence in my looks. And so such days can be extremely dangerous because it upsets my entire day, ruins my mood and any of my friends will be able to tell you that when I’m upset, I radiate with unhappiness and it affects others too. Not a good thing.

I had one such day recently and my poor housemate had to sit through a whole day of “I’m ugly” rants. He’s sick of hearing it, and truth be told, I’m sick of ranting it myself. But I can’t help myself because when I’m down in the dumps, I’m really, REALLY, down in the dumps.

I don’t think I’m the only person to have an ‘ugly day’. So what do you do to combat this?

5 ways to say “no” to ugly

1. Smile

As hard as it may be to do on an ‘ugly day’, the first thing you should do is smile. Smile, laugh, be as joyous as you can be. Chances are, you won’t be feeling joyous at all but trust me. Once you’ve gotten the ball rolling on that first smile (not frown!), it’s easier to bring on the rest. And if you are feeling ugly or worried that other people might find you ugly, just remember this – a smile is all it takes to go from plain to beautiful. People will not be remembering that zit or that wrinkle you are worried about, people will be remembering your kind million-watt smile.

2. Put some makeup on.

Many years ago, I would have scoffed at this and say that you are merely hiding behind a mask by putting makeup on. But as you add colour to your face, it is akin to adding colour to your day and your life. Use bright colours to cheer yourself up and as your most beautiful features come to live under your brush and your skill, so to will your ‘ugly’ feelings dissipate and allow your inner self to shine. I find that if I wake up hating myself and how I look, I tend to calm down and feel better as I put on my trusty liquid eyeliner. And if I’m still feeling ugly, the red lipstick never fails to make me feel sexy.

3. I am beautiful, believe it.

For others to think you are beautiful, firstly you have to believe that you are beautiful yourself. If you don’t believe in something, you will portray it with no conviction and others will pick up on it and believe that too. But if you believe that you are beautiful and that you are worthy, then other people will too. (There will always be naysayers, but ignore them, for they are obviously only trying to belittle you to make themselves feel better.) Say it out loud: “I am beautiful” as many times as it takes for you to be able to feel in control of your feelings and to get back on the right track again. Write it on your mirror, stick it on a postit and have it all over your desk at work. It is vital that you are constantly reminded that you are beautiful for who you are because beauty starts from within you and not without.

4. Dress well.

It’s hard to feel beautiful if you are dressed sloppily. I find that on my ‘ugly days’ I tend to pick the sloppiest of my clothes to wear as I’m in a “why bother, i’m ugly anyways” mood. But you have gotta break that vicious cycle. Dress up to the nines on your ugly days. Pick the prettiest of your clothes, wear the sexiest stilettos and load up on that mascara. By the time you’ve done all the work into dressing up, chances are your ‘ugly day’ will be over. Stand back in the mirror and admire your handiwork, damn babe, you’re looking fineee.

5. Be polite to yourself.

Sometimes we think that just because it’s ourselves, we don’t need to treat ourselves with respect. It’s easy to put aside your manners and start laying it into yourself because there’s no one else to hear you. But you have feelings too. Feelings that can be hurt. Didn’t think it possible to hurt your own feelings? Well, by calling yourself ugly, you just did. Would you call somebody else ugly to their face? If your answer is no, then you shouldn’t do it to yourself then. (And if your answer is yes, you should be rethinking that…) And stop staring at yourself. I find that on ‘ugly days’, I’m obsessed with the mirror and big glass windows as I am constantly trying to find a reason to feel better about myself and always failing because I have a “nothing will look good” attitude going on at the same time. No good will come of it, so stop looking. You don’t stare at strangers (or try not to!) so don’t do it to yourself either!

What are your ways to combat ‘ugly days’? I very often have them so would love to hear other solutions and other ideas on how to stop these ‘ugly days’ from happening. I know fully well that there is no such thing as “ugly” as everybody is beautiful and gorgeous in their own right. But why is it so hard for my heart to believe what my brain knows?

31 Responses to "I feel ugly : How to say “no” to ugly days."

Add Comment
  1. LeenzieM

    April 15, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Hi,

    I can totally relate to this, as I’m sure others can. We focus on our imperfections and drag ourself down and tell ourselves we’re ugly. As much as we tell ourselves not to compare ourselves to celebrities or magazine models, we do.

    Here’re some things I do to improve my mood:

    -as for the models and celebs, I just keep telling myself that on terms of beauty it takes a hair-and-makeup team a good while (sometimes up to a few hours) to make the women look like the way the we finally get to see them. I remind myself that no one is flawless and I shouldn’t expect myself to be either.
    - As you said above, wear some makeup. An as you said it isn’t to “cover up you ugliness” or whatever but simply to enhance your natural, beautiful features. I find that bright colours help the most: a bright red, or pink or green, etc.

    - same with clothes: dress well. It doesn’t have to be fashion show- overdone, but just polished/ put together. Same principle as with the makeup, I pick colours that I know will cheer me up. Nice shoes do that for me as well :)

    -a little perfume works too. Just a little.

    -Final trick: I give myself a good look in the mirror from head to toe and while I acknowledge the things I don’t like about myself I look for things that I do like: my smile, my eyes, my arms, my hair, etc. Things like that :) (and again, I try and wear clothes and makeup that enhance what I think are my best features).

    :)

    Reply
    • Celeste

      April 21, 2011 at 10:46 am

      You are correct. We do tend to focus on our imperfections and drag ourselves down. I like your final trick. Will have to try it the next time I’m feeling down!!

      Reply
    • PAT

      May 5, 2011 at 10:48 am

      This might help a little. I have been looking for things to reinforce the “positive affirmations” and found this at Amazon…
      “BE YOUR OWN KIND OF BEAUTIFUL” Vinyl wall lettering stickers quotes and sayings home art decor decal.
      Price: $11.93
      http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003ATMQUU/ref=ox_sc_sfl_title_5?ie=UTF8&m=A3DR7Z09CDSW6R

      Reply
      • Celeste

        May 9, 2011 at 3:17 pm

        Oh I really really REALLY love that idea! Amazon order, now! Thank you for sharing!

        Reply
  2. K

    April 15, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    I think the points you’ve mentioned can be summed up as ‘making an effort’.
    I feel that even if I’m down in the dumps, as long as I’ve made a effort (i.e spend an extra 5 minutes picking my outfit or putting on some simple eyeliner), it cheers me up instantly.

    Reply
    • Celeste

      April 21, 2011 at 10:37 am

      yeah definitely. making an effort makes all the difference!

      Reply
  3. Nessbow

    April 15, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    What a great post. I’ve been feeling a bit ‘blah’ for the last few days, and this really perked me up.
    When I’m having an ‘ugly’ day, I like to do something special for myself, like taking a nice bath, giving myself a manicure or a facial or running a treatment through my hair. I also like to pump up the volume on my stereo with some up-beat music and dance my blues away.

    Reply
    • Celeste

      April 21, 2011 at 10:35 am

      It’s all in the head. You feel ugly because you think you are. But if you look on the bright side of things and think positive, it drives the blues away!

      Reply
  4. Pingback: Naily News | You've Got Nail

  5. Mel

    April 18, 2011 at 3:21 am

    Wow, great post!, What you think and feel makes all the difference in the world. You can choose what to think and feel.. Affirmations can help combat the “ugly” days…

    Reply
  6. Michelle

    April 18, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    What a great post! I need to print your five ways to say no to ‘ugly’ and stick it on my mirror. Thank you! x
    Michelle recently posted..DressGreen- Clarifying Activated Charcoal Facial Soap

    Reply
    • Celeste

      April 21, 2011 at 10:34 am

      Thank you Michelle. I think sometimes, I need to do the same. XD;

      Reply
  7. Sakura

    April 19, 2011 at 3:13 pm

    So very true! I find on these days i tend to
    1. put on some music (i find something either cute or sexy works for music choice}
    2. Do my make up and dress up in something i already know looks good.
    3. Call up one of my Gals and head out to have coffee or invite them over for coffee.
    4. BAKE! i find baking makes everything better lol
    5. Go shopping… i know shopping is bad when ur depressed about ur looks but it seems that when i do this i seem to get “checked out” by boys and this makes me think….well i must not look that bad… (p.s i love my man though ahaha)
    6. Do a pamper day! I usually invite some friends over and we will do nails (i seem to be the one doing it for them lol), facials, foot spa’s, and we have a mass tea/coffee and sweets attack!

    these things always seem to work for me and turn me from bleh to yeah
    Sakura recently posted..No more Bullshit Write a blog!

    Reply
    • Celeste

      April 21, 2011 at 10:34 am

      I definitely agree with baking. I bake to stress relief as well. It’s incredibly relaxing!

      Reply
  8. Miami Foreclosure Defence

    April 30, 2011 at 6:09 am

    im a firm believer of getting dolled up to boost my self steam. just putting makeup on will keep you entertained and away from annoying thoughts and the extra bonus.. you end up feeling better and looking good.

    Reply
    • Celeste

      May 9, 2011 at 3:24 pm

      that is definitely true. When I play with makeup, I tend to feel better! (but that’s how I’d feel if I did any of my hobbies really)

      Reply
  9. melissa

    July 20, 2011 at 3:42 am

    Bless you! Oh how I know! I love your list. And I especially like #2 and #4. You always think some comfortable sloppy clothes are going to help, but they don’t, do they?

    For myself, I’d also add “Exercise” to the list. Then at least my blood is moving and I know I’m not adding to my fat thighs – ha ha.

    Thank you for the post. I think there are many people who relate to you.

    Reply
    • Celeste

      July 25, 2011 at 10:34 am

      Thank you Melissa – it’s always hard to say no to yourself or to admit that you aren’t actually ugly. But it’s important to make that first step!

      Reply
  10. Abner

    December 21, 2011 at 6:04 pm

    “For others to think you are beautiful, firstly you have to believe that you are beautiful yourself.” Definitely believe that!

    Are you thinking “I feel so ugly“?

    Reply
  11. Steff

    May 1, 2012 at 8:28 am

    Yeeah..I feel the same way..I look at my body and i see a fat girl..And sometimes it hurts to myself..And i really don kn what can i do to feel more beautiful..Some people say that i am..But i always say “I`m not”..With every day it`s harder to me..i see girls dressed like models..and i feel uglier than them..and those girls are very thin..and im fat…this is my opinion..and i wanna change it.i`ll try to follow your steps..i wish it will help:)
    Steff recently posted..I Heart Organizing: Bathroom, Part 1

    Reply
    • Simone

      December 1, 2013 at 5:09 am

      I feel your pain. Who’s loving you? Be gentle with yourself, girl. Love yourself. Do not look at other girls. Look at you. Be the best you, you can be. And remember, you are God’s work of art.

      Reply
  12. Kate

    August 26, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    this actually really helped me.

    Reply
    • Celeste

      August 26, 2012 at 10:59 pm

      I’m glad to hear that, Kate. =)

      Reply
  13. the girl feels ugly

    September 22, 2012 at 5:04 am

    I feel ugly everytime i look at my best friend and see that shes pretty than me and am butters am just a dark skinned girl while shes light nd. Am not what am i suppose to do all the girls in year that goes my school call me ugly even the boys no one likes me i feel like the person dat created me made me ugly.and also my besfriend has a boyfriend while am here looking like a beg cusd no like me am butters nd i like this boy but he dnt like ne cus am butters nd no one will ever like me i will be the last virgin who dies without someone liking me

    Reply
    • Celeste

      October 7, 2012 at 5:43 pm

      Oh hun, I know exactly how you feel, but you gotta remember that nobody is going to think you are pretty until you yourself think that you are! So chin up, and start believing in yourself. I do. =)

      Reply
    • Simone

      December 1, 2013 at 5:29 am

      The false story is that you can’t be beautiful. Create your own beauty and where you do not have it in physical features create it in style, dress, aura, personality, spirit, conduct, character, behavior….you are created by God, my dear – you are a work of art. Celebrate it. Do not compare! Beauty is a full package – start putting together your own…

      Reply
  14. Juliet

    October 14, 2012 at 3:39 pm

    Heys guyz,

    A good tip that i have is to get a washable marker. and just write down all the negatives you have about yourself on yourself. so get naked. get the washable marker and everywhere that you see an imperfection in your body write it on yourself. once your done, look in the mirror. see how many words and imperfections you have? now get in the shower, turn on the warm water and watch all your imperfections wash away :)

    IT RELE WORKS, TRY IT!!

    xx
    Juliet

    p.s – the website looks AMAZING. its so cute, petite and absolute;y adorable. rele attractiive and cute with a capital K ;)

    Reply
    • Celeste

      October 23, 2012 at 9:45 am

      That’s a great tip, thank you! I might have to try that too. :D

      Reply
  15. Not tellin

    December 28, 2012 at 5:58 am

    I have so many ugly days! This helped a lot! :) Thx

    Reply
    • Celeste

      January 1, 2013 at 9:30 am

      Everybody has ugly days – but the difference is how we deal with them, that’s for sure! =)

      Reply
  16. sara

    August 26, 2013 at 6:51 am

    Thanks. Helped remind me that I am worth the effort, no matter how bad or ugly I feel that day. On a weight loss journey, so I know I look better today than I did last week, but overcoming those old feelings is difficult.

    Reply

Submit a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge