Source: Bibi81 on Flickr
Remembering that this blog isn’t just a beauty blog, and that it’s also a self-discovery and inspirational blog, please allow me this late night post where I ramble a little.
There are times I wonder if the fact that I’m single is because I am socially awkward. Many of my friends psh and posh when I say that I am socially awkward because I seem so outgoing and so friendly. But I know the truth.
And the truth is that I am socially awkward. I am an idiot when it comes to making friends. I am the person who stands in a corner at parties; the person who stares at others on the dance floor and wishing and wishing that it was her out there, but not daring to step out there; the person who wishes people would ask her out, but no one ever does.
I’m fine in a small group situation. Oh, I had brilliant fun at today’s Adelaide Beauty Bloggers Meet (#ABBM) – more on that in a later post! But coming home, I attended the town event and it was there my social awkwardness kicked in full blast. I hate parties full of people I don’t know, so why did I even go? Sigh.
There were cute boys, and after being single for 5 years and counting, I’m actually hoping to get attached again. But there were cute boys going after cute, outgoing girls. The girl who sits around in a corner with the oldies – yeah, not a chance. And I know I only have myself to blame. But how do you fight this? How do you put yourself out there? I left after an hour or so, when I got tired of sitting around the fire with the oldies and trying to chat over the not-so-great band music. Because all I felt was awkwardness.
And is it normal that I don’t like to party? I’m merely a 26 year old gal and I stopped feeling like partying and dancing around when I was 22. A quiet dinner party and a chill out session with quiet chats is more my kind of thing. Inside, I feel like I’m 56.