Social Awkwardness

Source: Bibi81 on Flickr

Remembering that this blog isn’t just a beauty blog, and that it’s also a self-discovery and inspirational blog, please allow me this late night post where I ramble a little.

There are times I wonder if the fact that I’m single is because I am socially awkward. Many of my friends psh and posh when I say that I am socially awkward because I seem so outgoing and so friendly. But I know the truth.

And the truth is that I am socially awkward. I am an idiot when it comes to making friends. I am the person who stands in a corner at parties; the person who stares at others on the dance floor and wishing and wishing that it was her out there, but not daring to step out there; the person who wishes people would ask her out, but no one ever does.

I’m fine in a small group situation. Oh, I had brilliant fun at today’s Adelaide Beauty Bloggers Meet (#ABBM) – more on that in a later post! But coming home, I attended the town event and it was there my social awkwardness kicked in full blast. I hate parties full of people I don’t know, so why did I even go? Sigh.

There were cute boys, and after being single for 5 years and counting, I’m actually hoping to get attached again. But there were cute boys going after cute, outgoing girls. The girl who sits around in a corner with the oldies – yeah, not a chance. And I know I only have myself to blame. But how do you fight this? How do you put yourself out there? I left after an hour or so, when I got tired of sitting around the fire with the oldies and trying to chat over the not-so-great band music. Because all I felt was awkwardness.

And is it normal that I don’t like to party? I’m merely a 26 year old gal and I stopped feeling like partying and dancing around when I was 22. A quiet dinner party and a chill out session with quiet chats is more my kind of thing. Inside, I feel like I’m 56.

13 Responses to "Social Awkwardness"

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  1. Coz

    April 3, 2011 at 9:22 am

    I saw this post on twitter this morning and I had to comment. I’m afraid I don’t have the answer but reading your post was like reading a day in the life of myself. I have a blog also and on the outside appear quite outgoing to the people that are close to me…but put me in a big group situation where I don’t know anyone and I lose it – I hate to see what my lonely, uncomfortable facial expressions look like!!! And then after being awkward for a while I slip away. I’d love to hear people’s comments on how to change this but I have been labelled an awkward Aquarian for a while now so maybe it won’t…? Just keep smiling and be confident and do the things you love. I was a massive partier but now at 27 have hung up my dancing boots – it’s ok to want to have dinner parties and chill out with friends – through nights like that you will meet quality people to stay in your life. I met my partner at a engagement party and he is as socially awkward as me! So it will happen for you and when it does it will be a person that fits right for you and your personality. Sorry for my ramble – I just woke up and felt the need to put that out there! Good luck!

    • Celeste

      April 4, 2011 at 9:17 am

      Hi Coz. I’m glad you commented because it’s from people like you with encouraging words that I am able to gather strength from and keep on going. While it’s not nice to be in the same situation as me (oh that shyness!) But it’s good to hear that there are others who have the same issues as I do and the ways people go around it. Thank you !!

  2. Haute Style

    April 3, 2011 at 11:54 am

    Oh Celeste! Big hugs!
    My dear darling Celeste, I don’t think you are socially awkward! You’re prefect just as you are! Not everyone is the “crazy drunk dancing” type of girl and not everyone is extroverted! You’re mature, mindfull and thoughtfull! The fact you sit and talk to people older than you shows your wisdom and depth in personality- which is a trait I LOVE!
    Do you think those “cute boys” were looking at those “cute girls” thinking they have found their life partner? NO! They were looking at them for a piece of ass! No man is going to find his true love drunk on the dance floor!

    I’m 22 and dread those parties. I don’t care for them at all! Celeste, just don’t go if you know you aren’t going to have fun. Diversity in personality is what makes this world so wonderful! If we were all the same, the world would be such a boring place!
    Celeste I don’t want you to change. I love you just the way you are. You are prefect!

    Lots and lots of love

    Haute coc

    • Celeste

      April 4, 2011 at 9:15 am

      Thanks dearie! Your words fill me with warmth and encouragement. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only person who dreads those parties. I’m not a boring old fart after all XD

  3. DanniiBeauty

    April 3, 2011 at 12:04 pm

    This post is so lovely – you write really well and are great at expressing yourself.
    I have felt the same way and still do at times. I was that shy girl at school that always wished I could do or be like those outgoing girls.
    Just be yourself. You will find someone and it will be because he likes you for you!
    We are all different and thats what makes us unique.

    • Celeste

      April 4, 2011 at 9:06 am

      Thanks Dannii. Writing is my passion and that’s partly why I started my blogs. Your words give me hope! <3

  4. Calvin

    April 3, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    hey Celeste,

    Don’t worry. you’re fine. Not partying every weekend is not a bad thing. in fact I am now 22 and i was never into the whole party/club/dance scene.

    Am more of a nice dinner or BBQ and chill out session where I actually get to talk. then again I love to talk. So yeah, maybe i am getting old inside as well? (Joking)

    I think it’s just a different way we use to enjoy life rather than the booze and parties??
    Calvin recently posted..L’hôtel De Vuitton

    • Celeste

      April 4, 2011 at 8:48 am

      I don’t believe I was really ever into it. I gave it a go because it was the ‘cool’ thing to do but was quickly bored with it. Seemed pointless and it was really annoying to see all my girlfriends being approached and getting hooked up and me being left alone in the corner!!

      You are right tho. It is a different way to enjoy life.

  5. Ling @thebestbeautyblog

    April 3, 2011 at 11:18 pm

    Thanks for speaking your mind. It’s difficult. I feel for you. It’s really hard to put yourself out there but I am sure you can do it. Just take small steps…

    I am similar to you. I am extremely socially awkward. I hate those loud parties. And I find it really hard to make friends. I still sit in the corner and I still sit in silence when a big group are chatting away. I dislike small talk. I have no idea how to strike up small talk. I tend to play with my phone a lot. Of course it is slightly easier now that I have a husband – but still, when he is not by my side, I panic too. How am I trying to overcome this? Well – first of all, I left my comfort bubble and went travelling and somehow, I met my husband and got married after 7 months of meeting him! Moving to Melbourne has been a scary experience and I have like no friends…and that is why I started the beauty blog – to meet beauty bloggers. And even then, I think it’s scary – I have arranged to meet a couple of them one-to-one which makes it easier because in a big group, I get unnoticed.

    Anyway, Celeste, you’re still young and there’s plenty of time to meet your Prince Charming :) Don’t go looking because he will find you :)
    Ling @thebestbeautyblog recently posted..A Freakin’ Awesome Chanel Giveaway…

    • Celeste

      April 4, 2011 at 8:42 am

      Thanks Ling, that’s true. Prince Charming will come along when it’s time. I haven’t really thought about relationships for a very long time as I wasn’t keen on them for awhile but it’s starting to get a little lonely!

      I’m the same as well – I try to arrange for smaller groups as I tend to shrink into my little corner in bigger groups. I’m really trying hard to change that but it’s hard to break the pattern sometimes!

    • Simone

      December 1, 2013 at 5:03 am

      I think a big part of the problem for people like us is that there are hardly any songs, movies, stories where it is ok to be an introvert. Introversion is not typically displayed in a good light. But really, there is a place for introversion – we have our own unique beauty, temperaments and energies. I think we are one of the most underestimated group. We just need to be shown in a ‘good’ light!

  6. Nessbow

    April 4, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    Oh my gorgeous Celeste,
    I think you and I are in the same boat a little here. I have a fairly outspoken online persona, but in person I tend to be much quieter. I’ve never felt confident introducing myself to strangers and I always feel a bit awkward at parties. In fact, I don’t consider myself to be much of a party person at all. I’d much rather be sitting at home with friends, playing board games and eating a home-cooked meal. Or snuggled on the couch with my boyfriend and my cat watching a movie. Or sitting by myself reading a good book or writing. There’s nothing wrong with perferring quiet over loud, comfort over neon lights and loud music. Some of the most interesting people I know are total homebodies.

    Although I don’t have a definitive answer, there are some things that you could do to try and bring yourself out of your shell. When you’re at a party, try to seek out somebody else who doesn’t seem to have anyone to talk to. If you want to dance, just run onto the floor and shake it! If there’s a guy you think is cute, go and talk to him. You’re a fantastic, brilliant person, and the world deserves to see just how amazing you are. Sometimes, the best way to get through an awkward social situation is to pretend to be confident and buckle your inner shy girl into the backseat of your mind. Just let yourself experiment for one evening with being a person who likes to party, who wants to dance, who is confident talking to guys. I promise nothing truly terrible will come of it, and who knows? Perhaps you will lead yourself into some new opportunities.
    Nessbow recently posted..Daily outfit- 4-4-2011

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